Bartenders are constantly talking to new people and starting new conversation, but what do you do if you're horrible at this?
This is a lot easier than you probably think... The main thing to remember is this: Keep it about the customer and ask questions. People will usually have answers the questions, and I'm sure you'd agree that most people like talking about themselves, so keep the spotlight on them.
So what kind of questions do you ask to make conversation?
First realize that there are two types of questions. Closed questions, in which there is only a yes, no, or short answer. There's also open questions that lead the person to talk about the subject for quite a while.
Closed questions are good if you're busy or don't want to start a long conversation with customers. However open questions allow you to actually get to know the customer, make them feel comfortable with you, and in the end they'll be more likely to tip you better because they like you. They'll like you because you've taken a genuine interest in getting to know them and in showing that you actually care.
There are 6 main types of question that you can try to remember and this will help you not only in bartending, but in talking to people in any situation. These six categories are great sticking points for remembering what kind of questions to ask your customers.
Compliment
If the customer walks up to the bar and genuinely has a nice coat, shirt, or whatever it's not too corny to compliment them on it. You can either do it close ended by simply giving the compliment such as "nice coat" or you can open the conversation up by saying: "nice coat, where could I find something like that?"
Granted that conversation does appear corny, an actual conversation shouldn't. People can typically see through you if you're giving a fake compliment so do this only if you mean it.
Family
Family is one of the most talked about subjects on the planet. Use your best judgement when starting a conversation though, because it may be a landmine. Ask if they have any children or where they grew up rather than asking about a potential spouse. I say this only because the divorce rate is so high. Check for a ring before you make any steps into talking about relationships.
If you're a female you may want to avoid the conversation of having a significant other altogether if you have no interest in the customer because it could send the wrong signal.
Travels
Some people travel, some people don't. If you do end up talking to folks who travel they'll talk to you about it all night and you'll be on the gravy train because all you have to do is listen and travel stories can actually be interesting. This is one of my favorite subjects to bring up and I highly recommend it.
Food and Drink
You're at a bar, so why not ask the customer what they like to drink and how they acquired their taste in beverages. Enlighten them about your unique liquors and any interesting stories you have from the bar.
Work
If you live in America, as I do, there's a good chance most of your customers have jobs. If it's a weekday it's also very likely they have been at work that day so ask them how work is going, how they got into their current line of work, or if they have any career tips for you.
As a bartender (especially a young one) you get to gain the advice of a lot of people, so why not learn as much as you can? Just because you ask for advice doesn't mean that you have to take it. This can also be beneficial because people typically love to help other people. So if the customer feels like they're helping you they'll feel better about themselves, which is what it's all about.
They also tend to tip a little better if you mention you're just starting out in life.
Interests / Hobbies
Whether it's their dog, a tv show, fishing, fashion, or baseball, everybody has something that keeps their interest. And they'll be willing to speak with you about it for hours. What a person wears, how they speak, and how they hold themselves can usually be a good indicator as to what kind of interests they have. Simply ask them what they do in their free time and they'll be more than happy to share.
In Closing
Conversation isn't really that hard to have... It's kind of like volleyball in which each person reciprocates questions back and forth. Typically you may be doing a little more serving (in volleyball and of drinks) than the customer, but that's your job.
Also remember to try and avoid the conversation topics of politics, religion, and sex... Obviously use your discretion here, but in a lot of instances it simply doesn't end well if you're not in agreement.
If you'd like to see more on great conversation watch the video below.
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